H to the O

For the first time in weeks, today I drank as much water as I should. In related news, I also peed like 100 times, but who cares? I know from experience that it regulates as soon as my body's flushed some of its toxins. I'm also trying to cut back on my diet cola consumption. At one point, I'd quit it altogether, but then I quit quitting. Now I'm going to quit quit quitting. I'll have to find new ways to get my caffeine. Maybe I'll just start taking speed. I'm joking. DON'T DO DRUGS.

I am finding that it's not the lack of desire to workout that keeps me from it; nor is it the lack of time anymore now that the holidays are over. It's simply that sometimes I get distracted and I forget. Yesterday, for instance - I wanted to workout, but I also wanted to get this project done.* I planned to work on the first half of the project, take a break & workout, and then finish up the project. Well, I forgot to workout. So thoroughly, in fact, that it wasn't until I was reading in bed before sleep that I remembered. The same exact thing happened the day before with a different project.** Apparently this is a tendency of mine, so I need to refine my system. Maybe decide approximately when I want to workout and set an alarm.

TODAY: 1 hour of stationary bike, 100 crunches, 30 push-ups
Prior: I wanted to work out, but I almost put it off to get some little thing done "real quick." Trying to fool myself again! I steered myself to workout right then while thinking about it.
During: Enjoyed it. Easy to do when I have the TV to distract me (which we do in our workout room). I had thought I'd only bike for 1/2-hr, but I changed it to an hour when I realized that The Biggest Loser was on. I swear that is the best show to watch for inspiration. Those fuckers work SO HARD; it's impossible to skimp on a workout when watching that show.
After: Felt excellent, and proud that I pushed myself a bit. My butt hurts from the bike seat. I still detest push-ups.

*The project I was working on yesterday was making a tea cozy. It's my first project with my new sewing machine! I should say "am" instead of "was" because my first attempt failed. Well, no. It didn't fail - it's a kick-ass looking rock-n-roll tea cozy; it just doesn't fit my teapot. I made a newbie mistake (because I'm a newbie), and left too little for seam allowance. Anyone with a smaller pot need a cool tea cozy?

**The project that distracted me on Sunday was creating a new vanity website. Check it out; I love it!

bullshit, yoga is relaxing

I'm kidding. Kind of. Seriously, though - that shit is HARD.

TODAY: 45 minutes of beginner's yoga
Prior to: Felt rushed; was worried about how much time I had (or rather didn't have) before I had to leave for the 14/48 meeting.
During: Felt good - the stretches in particular. The woman on the DVD I have does an excellent job of getting me to visualize various muscle activations & grounding, and also describing how it might feel. This helps me a lot, since I don't have a personal coach in the room to monitor me.
After: Glad I fit it in; I really needed the stretching. Yoga's a bit sneaky -- at the time, I felt like maybe I should have done more, but now (a few hours later), my body feels even the little that I did.

Tomorrow, I have the same time crunch issue with work & 14/48. I will try to make it home in between the two and bike for at least 1/2-hr. (stationary bike).

get on your bikes and ride

So. Turns out that fitness is still one of the first things out the window when I get busy. Not a surprise to me, truly. At least it wasn't the very first thing I threw out the window. And I kept my weight steady throughout the holiday season, even though my habits slipped. I can only guess that some of my base level habits have changed for the better, and I'm actually getting more activity & eating better all around, even though it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind.

2008 is a brand new year full of promise, and I intend to participate in an August triathlon in Seattle. 1/2-mile swim, 12-mile bike, 3-mile run (or thereabouts, depending on the final route). I was persuaded (quite easily) to do it by a friend who was going to do it again only if she could round up some other gals to commit. So I'm in, as well as some other lady friends of ours (it's a female-only event).

The most exciting development is that my mom's going to fly out to do it with me!!! She's a seasoned triathlon competitor, so it'll be pretty cool to be able to join her finally. And maybe my dad'll come to shame Monkey into getting up that early to come watch. ;-)

Today was the first day of my active "training." (I'll take the quotes off when I feel like I'm truly back on the fitness wagon, and not just playing catch-up to what I should have been doing for the last 2 months.) Monkey has consented to be my "pace-car" and I think is excited to have a reason to get back on the wagon himself.

The main thing for me is to take in manageable steps. I get clotted up when I try to think of the totality of being in shape enough to run a triathlon, and then I just want to play computer games and let my avatar run for me. So - I have given myself a very achievable goal of doing some kind of fitness activity every day, to be increased in intensity as I progress. One step at a time. I know that planning also important for me, so I will ponder possibilities & decide each day what my activity will be for the following day.

TODAY: Monkey & I jogged approx. 2 miles. Around the neighborhood, not the track.
Weather: A light rain, but not too cold, and not unpleasant.
Prior: I didn't feel like doing it, but I said I would force myself, and I did.
During: The first bit was hell, and then I kinda caught my stride - more so, anyway. My lungs burned from lack of recent cardio, and that feeling has lingered a bit (it's been about an hour since getting home). My legs were sore from painting last week, and from bowling the other day, and the running loosened them up. By the end, I wasn't out of breath, but simply tired in my body.
After: Glad I did it, but frustrated that it didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.
Notes to self: Drink more water. Remember your sense of humor. Don't get fussy with your helper, because he's doing it for you.
Tomorrow: I don't have much time tomorrow due to work & the kick-off of the 14/48 festival. I will plan to do yoga either before the meeting or before bed.

fell off the wagon, but will hitch a ride to meet it at the next pit stop to climb back on

Where've you been?
KIDDING!
I'm know it's me who's been gone so long.
C'mon baby - don't be like that.

The Women at ACT Theatre closes this weekend. From Sept. 11 to Dec. 16. I think it's like 80-85 performances total. 8x/week in addition to holding down my day job (p/t job, but still). I can count on one hand the number of pure days off I've had in that entire 3 month period, and most of those have been in the last 2 weeks. Not complaining, mind you, BUT! It'll be nice to have my regular life back starting next week.

Quick health & fitness update:
=>My weight has stabilized at 144/145 lbs. I'd like to drop another 5 or so.
=>My workout routine is solidly out the window and has been for 3 weeks now. Zilch. I've been a very bad girl. I have many theories & reasons, many of which I hope to amuse you with as soon as I can get some goddam sleep.
=>In January, I will begin training for an August triathalon. That should kick my butt into gear.

Gotta go ... I'm at my day job right now, and I mainly stopped by to let you know about a new DIY venture of mine ... check out my new-found craftiness at www.hardwearables.com.

I love you. I really do. Seriously! Come back here!!!

older. wiser?

The facts, in cold hard numbers. Numbers do not lie, my friends.

11 = days I've belonged to a mainstream membership gym.
8 = days I've worked out at the gym since joining.
3 = days I didn't feel like working out, but did anyway.
1 = days I really didn't feel like working out, and went home instead.

Not freakin' bad, if I do say so myself. Oh, and I do -- as often as possible.

I miss working out with Cody terribly, of course. It's a lot easier when there's someone there pushing me and expecting things from me. He's there in spirit, though. Some days what gets me into the gym is the fact that I don't want to have to tell him that I slacked off. Also, what would all that money and hard work have been for if I'm just going to dump it?

I make deals with myself: "I don't want to go work out." "I know, but you'll feel better." "Not today, I won't. I really think I should take the day off." "Alright; that's cool. Just go and do 15-20 minutes on the elliptical. C'mon - it's right around the corner! Then go home." "Seriously, lay off. I'm not in the mood today." "Alright. It's your money." "OKAY! GEEZ! I'll go! But just 15 minutes on the elliptical." Then of course - 15 minutes on the elliptical, and I feel great and want to keep going.

There is a pride thing at gyms, too. This gym is pretty mellow - friendly, diverse, no attitude that I've noticed. Pretty much it's not crowded and people leave each other alone. But still --- once I'm there and on the floor, my vanity won't quite let me retreat to the locker room after such a short time. What might people think? Of course, they wouldn't think anything - who am I that they'd give a shit? But it just seems lame to go to a gym and then not do a full, adequate work out. I can't stand to think I'm being lame.

Damn that Cody! Now that I know better, there's no going back.

breaking up is hard to do

Cody and I are taking a break. I know, right? Don't cry.

Actually, I just started rehearsals for a professional theatre show in addition to holding down my day job (with the blessings and help of an incredibly accommodating job-share partner). The fact is, no matter how much I adore working out with Cody, I simply do not have one day free until mid-October. In a lot of ways, the timing of this has worked out brilliantly. I was starting to feel like I needed to stumble out of the nest to see if I'd fly on my own. Not whether I can fly, mind you, I know I can. But would I? Or would I rather just choose to land on my couch with a bucket of cheese? Well, now I guess I get to find out.

Sink or swim, baby! Sink or swim.*

*I can preliminarily report that I'm actually more like treading water right now than sinking or swimming. Not bad, but I gotta step up my groove. I got big plans. More soon.

acting 101

Hang with me through this post - I promise I'm making a point here about my fitness (albeit perhaps obliquely).

As I progressed through my acting training in college, I was taught - and encouraged to employ - a wide variety of styles and methods. We started with basics in Fundamentals of Acting (the title of our majors' intro course): text & character. This was followed very closely by - practically simultaneously with - objectives (goals) & intention (how you achieve them). As I and my peers progressed, the scope was widened, and we learned other techniques to supplement and enhance the basics (breath patterns, emotional recall, alexander technique, lessac vs. linklater, bippity boppity boo). We would learn and practice these techniques in isolation, which is necessarily the way of teaching (although not the way of acting or of life, really), but the idea was that they were all building blocks for a well-rounded actor. (I now prefer to think of it as a road-map, but that's neither here nor there.) Even though we were focusing on kinesthetic response (for example), we were expected to use all the already learned tools at our disposal as well. Sometimes (often, even), whatever technique we were focusing on would start overshadow the acting, rather than serving it. And in those cases, the notes after the performed classroom scene would inevitably include the phrase, "Go back to Fundamentals."

Although it sometimes felt like it, this was not a slight meant to indicate that we weren't worthy to be in an advanced acting course. It meant that we skipped a few steps, and we needed to go back and build the foundation before we heaped our technique on top. As I've gotten to be older and a more and more experienced actor, Fundamentals are second nature. I don't have to think about them, I just do them automatically. Like reading or riding a bike or swimming. Once you learn it - really learn it - you can't even imagine what it felt like before you knew how.

Sometimes, though - not often, but sometimes - I can't seem crack the nut. I have a picture in my mind of what I want to achieve with playing a particular character, but ... I. CAN'T. SEEM. TO. DO. IT. It's crazy-making. Rehearsals are frustrating, I can't get off-book (which I normally excel at), and I can tell - or imagine - that the director and my castmates are anxious and annoyed. I'm letting everyone down, and I begin to resign myself to the fact that this will be one of my failures. You can't win them all, right? But who can accept that? So I make a last-ditch effort, and try to simply read the play as if for the first time. I try to get a clean copy of the script so that I'm not focused on my already highlighted lines, or blocking or notes to myself.

"Go back to Fundamentals."

Five'll getcha ten that by the end of that script-read, I cracked that nut wide-fucking-open, and am now eating all the walnut crumbs. Usually I find that I have been stupid and blind and running into the wall over & over insisting that a door should be there, when all I needed to do was take a step back and see that the door is actually a little bit down on the right. You can practically hear the tumblers all down the line of the play -- click*click*click*click*click!

My point is this --- when something like this that should be working isn't working- it's almost always operator error. When I'm not doing good acting work in a play, it's ME. And I can change it. If I want to.

Same with my diet. I've been gaining weight. I'm back to pre-detox weight, and I've been unhappy and grumbling about it. It seems to me that I'm eating pretty good, but the numbers don't bear it out.

And also the same with my cardio. I was up to 3 miles jogging, and now 2 kills me. I didn't seem to me that I slacked off that much, but let's check those stats again, shall we?

Nobody to blame but myself.

Back to Fundamentals.