school of life

Okay, so I owe you two (TWO?! yes, two!) monthly assessments. But not right now. I'll do 'em later tonight ... unless I'm too busy smoking, drinking whiskey & eating cheese to bother. (I kid because I love.)

The thing about the assessments, though, is that they're kind of like getting a grade on an exam. The grade has varying degrees of import based on who you are (teacher, student, strict parent, etc.), but it's not necessarily wholly indicative of long-term and secret internal success. I study hard, I do my best; but at the end of the day, I feel as much about my assessments as I did about my grades ... pleasantly satisfied if I did as well as I hoped, slightly disappointed if I didn't. Either way, by the end of the day, it's forgotten. (This is why I was always a B-student who was smarter than most of the A-students.* And had more fun.)

Anywho, blah-di-blah blah blah ... off the top of my head, here's my baker's dozen of non-assessment successes since October 2006 (which I attribute directly to my fitness focus):

1. I quit biting my nails. Without any effort on my part. I just stopped. And, girl lemme tell ya -- I'm an old-school nail biter from back in the day. I've never had unbitten nails that weren't fake.
2. I quit smoking. This I did on purpose.
3. I have only been sick once this season. It was a bad one, but quick. Other than that - not even a sniffle. And people were dropping like flies all around me. Sick flies.
4. I can count on less than one hand the number of times I've had trouble sleeping.
5. I've joyfully given up clothes I loved because they didn't fit any longer ... I'm back to a very comfy size 10. Granted - the assessment does cover weight & measurements, but the joy cannot be adequately expressed in a number.
6. I stretch every morning (mostly).
7. Last summer, I barely made it around Green Lake once (blading). This season, I go around twice without even debating.
8. Even at my most busy & stressed (this past Feb/Mar), my anxiety level is extremely low. I haven't felt this overall calm since ... well since adulthood.
9. My auditions are easier. I don't mean easy like "piece of cake" - I mean that I have an comfort and ease in the audition room I've never felt before. I still get nervous, but I don't choke it to death. I can let it flow without much effort.
10. I'm saving quite a bit of money. Again with hardly any effort on my part. I don't eat out as much (and when I do it's a real treat, and worth the wait). I also am buying more food to actually cook rather than processed food to zap. This is way cheaper.
11. I haven't seen the inside of a hangover in months. I haven't given up drinking booze, and I seriously doubt I will. I'm not a self-deprivation kinda gal, and I was never a heavy drinker to begin with. But when I do drink, I drink less alcohol & more water. Again, not really trying.
12. I feel it just as much when I don't work out as when I do.
13. I just last week gave up diet coke. It just stopped tasting good.

So, yeah - right?! I am very pleased. Sometimes I pretend I don't want to do it anymore, but I really do.

(*Hmm. Someone's quite full of herself, huh? Oooh, fancy pants, all smart & shit.)